Hey, what’s up lions? Yes, there is a new lion rumor that is prancing its way around the halls. We all know of the haircuts for drug testing, but have you noticed that the same person always cuts your hair? “Who?” you may ask. The culprit is none other than Dean Stanford himself. What’s his game? Did he have a secret dream of being a hairstylist when he was younger, get denied, and now uses this chance to fulfill his desire to cut hair? Well lions, we went straight to the source, and he stated that he only does it himself because in the past others would cut way too much, causing complaints from parents. So lions, the reason is not of a desire to be a hairstylist, but of one to please the parents.

Passing by the math hallway, all seems normal — Jimmy crying from his failed algebra test, a freshman thinking he’s in the biology hallway, an 8th grader taking an AP class — but as you narrow your gaze, you can see Mrs. Brankin rocking a stylish dress, per usual. But as you look closer you see math expressions on it. How could this be possible? Does Mrs. Brankin have a secret math-dress-making business on the side? Intrigued, we confronted the teacher about where the dresses are found. The answers shocked our staff; she doesn’t make the dresses, but buys them from an online website called svahausa.com. So, for all you children wanting to be Mrs. Brankin for Halloween next year, now you know where to get the stylish dress.

As you make your way down to the workout room after school, you may be blinded from a reflection bouncing off a shiny surface. However, this surface is none other than the top of Mr. Jenkins. Many people have been wondering, does Mr. Jenkins polish his head? While some people are suspicious of how he gets his head looking so glossy and lustrous every day, others feel that Jenkins doesn’t seem like the “head-polishing type.” Well, though some of you may be disappointed, Mr. Jenkins apparently does not have a head-polisher at home. However, he does use lotion, which is why his head looks so shiny.

Now, chances are if you’ve ever been taught by Mr. Paolelli, you’ve noticed his impressive collection of exotic-colored clothing. It seems that one of his favorite wardrobe pieces would be his blue pants. Many students have wondered whether he has a closet full of blue pants or just one pair that he wears constantly. However, the answer to this question is neither one of those choices. Mr. Paolelli believes he has four or five pairs. So to those of you who thought he wore the same pair everyday, sorry — he actually has a pair for almost the entire school week. And for those of you who thought he had a closet full — come on, really? Anyway, join us next issue as we delve into unexplored nooks and crannies.